How to Talk to Your Teen About Birth Control

It’s ironic that when kids are little, they struggle to communicate with their parents. However, when they become teenagers, parents struggle communicating with them. This gap is because both hormones and emotions are at their peak in teenage years. This can lead to confusion and compulsion. Some subjects, however, have to be discussed clearly and timely. Teens are in a precarious phase of life, and a simple mistake can turn into a life-altering event.

According to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, the U.S. teen birth rate is much higher than other Western countries. Statistics also show that pregnancy and birth are significantly linked to girls dropping out from high school. Although parents prefer not to think about it, pregnancy risk is high for all teens — including their own. 

Sex has always been an uncomfortable topic to discuss with family. You don’t want to make it even more uncomfortable by sounding preachy or prejudiced. Here are five ways to make the conversations easier and help your teen understand the gravity of the situation.

1. Trust the Experts

It’s a good thing that some schools still teach sex education. This is because no information (or misinformation among peers) can lead to worse outcomes. Beyond school, kids should have access to trusted sources. Since many teens can be hesitant to approach the pediatrician they grew up seeing, they can get online help. 

Introduce your teenager to trusted websites or organizations that provide accurate scientific information. Some birth control pill providers answer frequently asked questions in simple terms online. Your teen can start doing research themselves and come to you if they have any questions.

If they decide they do want to start using birth control, they can choose to get that online as well. They would just need to fill out an intake form and a healthcare provider would talk to them about prescription options. Once they choose a method, it can be shipped discreetly. This makes it convenient yet confidential, which can help put your teen at ease.

2. Talk to Both Your Sons and Daughters 

Having a son doesn’t free you from the responsibility of talking about birth control. Boys need to understand the importance of using condoms every time they’re intimate. This will not only protect his partner from pregnancy, but it will also protect him from sexually transmitted infections. Have an open conversation about keeping condoms on hand, so he is protected in case anything happens. 

Both girls and boys should be aware of the possible side effects of birth control. The dose, route, and frequency can vary between brands. They should know never to skip a dose or take more than prescribed. They should both know how to respect each other’s choices. Additionally, both partners should know who to call if something feels wrong or unsafe. 

3. Plan to Have Multiple Conversations

You may think parenting a teen is difficult, but being a teen isn’t easy either. It’s a world where moods are extreme, hormones are raging, and rebellion is the norm. A vast majority of teens feel misunderstood by family and turn to other avenues for acceptance. They find comfort with those who “get them.” That’s how they build new relationships — both platonic and romantic. 

Therefore, try to get on their level, rather than expecting them to come to yours. This may take several conversations. Parents might not even understand some of the terms that youth use today. For meaningful results, you cannot get away with a single uncomfortable talk. Try to approach sex education from a facts perspective. Do not focus on how you feel about their choices. Do not start with your experiences. Your kids will likely zone out from the sheer mention of that idea. 

4. Create a Judgment-Free Zone

Parents feel it’s their duty to steer their children toward better life decisions. However, this good-intentioned conversation can quickly turn into criticism. So focus on your tone and timing. Sometimes even an eye-roll or a raised eyebrow is enough to turn the talk into a lecture.

Start the conversation by emphasizing the importance of love, trust, and reliability in a relationship. That should be the foundation before it gets physical. Although most people focus on the physical consequences of failed birth control, the emotional burden is equally damaging. Once you create a safe space, they will open up and often divulge more information than you need. The key is to give them the space, and wait for them to open up when they are comfortable. 

5. Respect Their Space 

Teens are fiercely protective of their privacy and do not forgive any snooping around. Unless it’s an emergency, don’t go through their room, phone, or journal. Once you’ve provided the information, it’s time to step back and trust their thought process. Remember that they are fast approaching adulthood and they will soon have their own lives, in more ways than one. This may be the first health decision they are taking on their own. Therefore, be supportive and empathetic.

Don’t barge into their room. Always knock before entering. Don’t get upset if the door is locked. You can find creative ways to talk about birth control. For instance, share a celebrity story or discuss something you saw on the news. Sometimes an unplanned pregnancy plot in a movie or show can be a great conversation starting point. 

So go ahead and plan some quality one-on-one time with your teenagers. Make sure your conversations aren’t limited to grades and chores. Go for a long drive or make dinner together. Get to know your teens better. They were once your babies, but are now spreading their wings into adulthood. Having open conversations about important topics shows you’re there to support them through life’s changes.